what a joy she has been to me! she is my office manager, and somehow we have a psychic connection. not sure how or why but i consistanly pick up on her energies, thoughts, feeling etc.
anyway, recently she treated me to a linch red lobster for a delicious meal and delightful conversation. she had a few things she wanted to talk about and as usual, it was enlightening and i am grateful for her. it reminds me a bible verse: one mans face sharpens that of another"
she also recently dropped by a cactus start as a thoughtful gift because of my miscarriage and today it bloomed 7 flower buds! =-)
thank you my libby!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
mr. mangum's 44th b-day!!!
as a disclaimer, i am NOT complaining, just sharing my humorous observations. (incase you read this bev! i love you!)
so, last year, i planned a birthday surprise b-day party for michael. we usually play poker on fridays so instead of the regular group, i invited family, friends etc. it turned out VERY nice except for the fact that michael HATES surprises and FORBADE me to do it again! (i probably still will, after all, next year is 45! hehehe!)
anyway, so this year, i decided, a nice quiet b-day, i'll make his favorite meal, lamb with asparagus, dolamdes, roasted potatoes, apple crisp and pumpkin ice crean with chunks of new york cheesecake in it, sparkiling apple cider.... i got him an extra special gift, even bought some lingerie, red, burlesquish with fishnets and stilletos which i was gonna cook in and surprise him (i'm not a huge lingerie girl, i always feel lame). i planned a fire in the fireplace, special lighting, inscense, paid extra for the shipping of his gift so it would get here in time, give him a massage and bonus stuff...fill in the blanks!)...you know....dani the party planner.....and a little jaeger to take my edge off! =-)
so how is how it really went...lol!
i go shopping for the meal, i get home and michael ahs gotten home early! 3 o'clock! okay cool! i can roll with it! hey, it's his birthday, he got off early! cool!
he say's, so who's coming tonight? i say...no-one! it's just you and me babe!
he says, oh my mom and dad aren't invited? i say....well, i wasn't planning on it, did you want them to come?
he says...oh! i just didn't know what was going on!
michaels mom calls wondering if she is supposed to come over because michael had talked to her and said...."i'll see you later!" ..so i invite her and loy over. of course they are invited if thats what michael wants and his parents are alwsys invited! i adore them.
so i raost the lamb and.....overdo it! boo! it was fine, but not moist and tender!
michaels gift never comes in, even though i paid $20 extra to get it here in time! BOO!
then, i tell him what my real plan was....to wear lingerie, cook dinner, have a candlelit dinner....he says...well, you can go put it on now! BOO!
not so much in the mood now!
then he says...well, you can wear it at valentines day!
BOO! too far away!
so after, chillin abit (and fox news! his favorite show) i go into the bathroom and get all pretty! lingerie, fishnets, stilleto's, perfume....i come out and he is in bed, buddha attacks me, tears a huge hole in one fishnet leg with his claws and another huge hole in the other leg by biting me!
ooohhhhh! NOT sexy! TRASHY!!!!)
so, the moral of the story?
IDK! nothing really went according to plan!
you just gotta live in the moment and roll with it! LOL!
so, last year, i planned a birthday surprise b-day party for michael. we usually play poker on fridays so instead of the regular group, i invited family, friends etc. it turned out VERY nice except for the fact that michael HATES surprises and FORBADE me to do it again! (i probably still will, after all, next year is 45! hehehe!)
anyway, so this year, i decided, a nice quiet b-day, i'll make his favorite meal, lamb with asparagus, dolamdes, roasted potatoes, apple crisp and pumpkin ice crean with chunks of new york cheesecake in it, sparkiling apple cider.... i got him an extra special gift, even bought some lingerie, red, burlesquish with fishnets and stilletos which i was gonna cook in and surprise him (i'm not a huge lingerie girl, i always feel lame). i planned a fire in the fireplace, special lighting, inscense, paid extra for the shipping of his gift so it would get here in time, give him a massage and bonus stuff...fill in the blanks!)...you know....dani the party planner.....and a little jaeger to take my edge off! =-)
so how is how it really went...lol!
i go shopping for the meal, i get home and michael ahs gotten home early! 3 o'clock! okay cool! i can roll with it! hey, it's his birthday, he got off early! cool!
he say's, so who's coming tonight? i say...no-one! it's just you and me babe!
he says, oh my mom and dad aren't invited? i say....well, i wasn't planning on it, did you want them to come?
he says...oh! i just didn't know what was going on!
michaels mom calls wondering if she is supposed to come over because michael had talked to her and said...."i'll see you later!" ..so i invite her and loy over. of course they are invited if thats what michael wants and his parents are alwsys invited! i adore them.
so i raost the lamb and.....overdo it! boo! it was fine, but not moist and tender!
michaels gift never comes in, even though i paid $20 extra to get it here in time! BOO!
then, i tell him what my real plan was....to wear lingerie, cook dinner, have a candlelit dinner....he says...well, you can go put it on now! BOO!
not so much in the mood now!
then he says...well, you can wear it at valentines day!
BOO! too far away!
so after, chillin abit (and fox news! his favorite show) i go into the bathroom and get all pretty! lingerie, fishnets, stilleto's, perfume....i come out and he is in bed, buddha attacks me, tears a huge hole in one fishnet leg with his claws and another huge hole in the other leg by biting me!
ooohhhhh! NOT sexy! TRASHY!!!!)
so, the moral of the story?
IDK! nothing really went according to plan!
you just gotta live in the moment and roll with it! LOL!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
INSIGHT...
it fascinates me how many insights humans can have throughout a lifetime! we just go along with life as we know how and all of a sudden something happens and you realize that you have been absorbing things you didn't know and or overlooking things you had no idea were there. INSIGHT!
HUMANS! we are quite the inigma. and it makes me smile.
we get caught up in our lives and heads and twisted emotions sometimes and our perspective is skewed and then all of a sudden something happens and it's all clear! and it happens over and over again throughout our life. it is an exciting journey.
and i am grateful that i am in a place where i can accept that about me. for many years i hated myself for the transformations. i thought i must be crazy! well, thats what my mom told me! and maybe i am a little, but i like that part of me! =-)
and we depend so much on the opinion of others for a guide to OUR path! but when you finally just let go and do your thing you are happy and everyone around seems to breathe a sigh of relief too and amazingly....accepts you!
recently, i expereinced a miscarriage. i didn't know i was preggers even though i was noticing some odd symptoms, no appetite, getting nauteous at smells, my skin was clearing up, boobs getting huge....about the time i was going...hey! i may be pregnant, all of a sudden i started feeling REALLY ill, as in something was wrong. i got clammy, white, nauteous, extremely hormonal and a few days later expelled my insides. during the experience, i had a lot of time to reflect on what i really want out of life. up to then i was just kinda going along, status quo, just waiting to see what happens but as i layed there for a few days i heard myself yelling at me! lol!
IF YOU REALLY WANT THIS WHY AREN'T YOU ACTING LIKE IT? WHY IS PART OF YOU HOLDING BACK AND HOLDING ON TO THIS IDEA THAT YOU CAN'T HAVE WHAT YOU WANT? WHY DO YOU HOLD YOURSELF BACK FROM MICHAEL? WHY ARE YOU BASICALLY SABOTAGING YOURSELF WITH THE IDEA THAT IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AND YOUR GONNA DIE YOUNG ANYWAY AND YOUR MAN DOESN'T REALLY LOVE YOU AND IS GONNA DITCH YOU ANYWAY.
it was a huge wake up call! this is the belief i carry around!
WHY? why in the world would i want to live dragging that deep seated belief around? and i didn't even realize i was holding this belief.
INSIGHT!
i felt changed. i felt peace, i felt, joy, life, energy and a hope that i haven't felt in 10 years! i am thankful!
it allowed me to have a very frank talk with michael and it brought us closer and it has motivated me to live a healthier lifestyle. it made me realize that i LOVE my life and my man and i am gonna live it, even if it is at the risk of it not being returned, thats what IIIII want. and guess what? it is being returned! michael has changed. HE is happier, HE is more joyful and at peace and HE wants to be healthier and it occurs to me how much of an impact WE have on those around us!
INSIGHT!
this led me to reflect on how i got HERE! at this moment and this experience.
i knew enough to know that soemthing was wrong with my life 10 years ago, and i kept knowing enough to keep searching. as ive said before, i knew enough to get HERE and when i actually stop to look around...i HAVE what ive been looking for!
INSIGHT!
somehow, i got HERE! =-)
and despite the ups and downs of "life" i am grateful for michael, his family, our home, his consistancy, his gentleness, kindness, his humility, our dog and cat, my beautiful friends, my job and so much more.
HUMANS! we are quite the inigma. and it makes me smile.
we get caught up in our lives and heads and twisted emotions sometimes and our perspective is skewed and then all of a sudden something happens and it's all clear! and it happens over and over again throughout our life. it is an exciting journey.
and i am grateful that i am in a place where i can accept that about me. for many years i hated myself for the transformations. i thought i must be crazy! well, thats what my mom told me! and maybe i am a little, but i like that part of me! =-)
and we depend so much on the opinion of others for a guide to OUR path! but when you finally just let go and do your thing you are happy and everyone around seems to breathe a sigh of relief too and amazingly....accepts you!
recently, i expereinced a miscarriage. i didn't know i was preggers even though i was noticing some odd symptoms, no appetite, getting nauteous at smells, my skin was clearing up, boobs getting huge....about the time i was going...hey! i may be pregnant, all of a sudden i started feeling REALLY ill, as in something was wrong. i got clammy, white, nauteous, extremely hormonal and a few days later expelled my insides. during the experience, i had a lot of time to reflect on what i really want out of life. up to then i was just kinda going along, status quo, just waiting to see what happens but as i layed there for a few days i heard myself yelling at me! lol!
IF YOU REALLY WANT THIS WHY AREN'T YOU ACTING LIKE IT? WHY IS PART OF YOU HOLDING BACK AND HOLDING ON TO THIS IDEA THAT YOU CAN'T HAVE WHAT YOU WANT? WHY DO YOU HOLD YOURSELF BACK FROM MICHAEL? WHY ARE YOU BASICALLY SABOTAGING YOURSELF WITH THE IDEA THAT IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AND YOUR GONNA DIE YOUNG ANYWAY AND YOUR MAN DOESN'T REALLY LOVE YOU AND IS GONNA DITCH YOU ANYWAY.
it was a huge wake up call! this is the belief i carry around!
WHY? why in the world would i want to live dragging that deep seated belief around? and i didn't even realize i was holding this belief.
INSIGHT!
i felt changed. i felt peace, i felt, joy, life, energy and a hope that i haven't felt in 10 years! i am thankful!
it allowed me to have a very frank talk with michael and it brought us closer and it has motivated me to live a healthier lifestyle. it made me realize that i LOVE my life and my man and i am gonna live it, even if it is at the risk of it not being returned, thats what IIIII want. and guess what? it is being returned! michael has changed. HE is happier, HE is more joyful and at peace and HE wants to be healthier and it occurs to me how much of an impact WE have on those around us!
INSIGHT!
this led me to reflect on how i got HERE! at this moment and this experience.
i knew enough to know that soemthing was wrong with my life 10 years ago, and i kept knowing enough to keep searching. as ive said before, i knew enough to get HERE and when i actually stop to look around...i HAVE what ive been looking for!
INSIGHT!
somehow, i got HERE! =-)
and despite the ups and downs of "life" i am grateful for michael, his family, our home, his consistancy, his gentleness, kindness, his humility, our dog and cat, my beautiful friends, my job and so much more.
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