jason marlatt, RIP

sadly, an old friend has passed away.
i learned about 3 weeks ago, that he was in a coma and the family had decided to stop life support. the consensus was, he would die immediately! he held on for about 3 weeks. he died on the 15th!
i did not know him well, but he was in my circle for quite a few years. i always liked him and felt a connection to him altho it was never validated. (if that makes sense)
he married and had 3 kids, 3 boys!
when i found out that he died i felt impelled to send my condolences! i WAS not close to his family AT ALL but i just have this sense that he was central to many poeple and that his absence will be devastating on many levels. i also feel that he WANTED to leave this earth! (does that sound awful?) as much as he may have adored his family, i feel he was overwhelmed and unhappy, for whatever reason.
PEACE to you JASON!!!! you will be missed on many levels, however, i envy you for being in a place where you can be at peace.
NAMASTE!
it was his spirit that spoke more than his words!

my plan...

i PLAN on adding stuff from my past BUT it as a draining to me as talking about it or even going through paperwork from that time period. i get lost and feel disconnected! HOWEVER, as these things come up and as i come across them, i HOPE to share them.
i try to see the bigger picture! it's not about me! it is about who might happen across my experience and how it might help them. =-)

oh, i haven't mentioned this have i?

so, i found out my ex husband was posing on my facebook and myspace as a bi-sexual female, oh for like 6 months!
REALLY!?!??!?
it is kinda old news to me but i realized i haven't shared it. about 3 weeks ago a friend from LA emailed me and said...."hey! did you know your tacky ex is posing as a gril on your FB? have any idea who it might be?"
i was like...hell yeah! the only person i have accepted as a friend that i have not met in person. ( well i guess i had, rolling eyes)
anyway! yeah! she had messaged me on myspace saying she noticed i lived in valencia, ca, and was planning on moving there, where was a good area to live and good places for work?
so i chit chatted with "her" for a long time. finally, "she" asked, "so, are you usually on FB or Myspace?".
i replied FB.
next thing i know, i have a freind request from "her". BTW, KENDRA VALENTI, from OHIO! A DANCER, MODEL who was in the opening of the drew carey show! (REALLY!?!?!?!?)
we corresponded back and forth for awhile! "she" claimed to have left her husband and moved to california to so some modeling. while she was there she fell into a bi sexual relationship with a suicide girl that she did ashoot with. she didn't know if she should tellthe husband she left in ohio, or go back to him. she wondered if i had ever been with a girl, or left my husband, what religion i was, why i left it......on and on!
like, or months, we carried on a conversation, and "she" gained my sympathies, and asked me personal questions and messaged me at all hours of the morning feigning distress.
REALLY!!?!?!??!
"she" even friended my sister and some of my friends an FB!
REALLY!?!?!?!?!
anyway, i outted "her"!
i reported her to myspace and FB and she got deleted. i also got a restraining order and i reported her and all of her correspondence to her parents and her elders in her congregation! BITCH!
i got rid of you for a reason!!!

NM sandia's and skies...

they continue to amaze me. above is a sampling of what i see out my front window but not what i see today! today there are clouds hovering over it so you cannot see the top and it is snowing BUT on the edges of the mountain is is BRIGHT and sunny and the sun is shining on parts of the mountain or it will dramatically go from dark and snowy to sunny and bright! sooooo amazing!

BITCH!!!

i was just reading an OLD, OLD email from someone that i did her wedding photos for!
i just wanted to say....BITCH!
reading it brought up alot of emotion!
i have NO tolerance for dealing with people who are selfish and self centered and seem to remember details so that they suit their story they've made up in their head!
and who evily, insert derisive comments in amongst seeming compliments!
did i mention......?.....BITCH!!!!