pain....

ALOT of pain.. the last 3 weeks!
i wish people could grasp the amount of pain i get in sometimes.
i DOUBT they do. people will say...oh i understand. i don't think the majority of them do.
every muscle hurts, burns, is sore and feels bruised. i feel every sore tendon, the fascia of my muscles hurts (that is the sheathing of your muscles) i feel a constant burning and ache in seemingly every muscle. i have osteo arthritis in my lower back from multiple car accidents and according to my last dr. i am developing arthritis in my wrists and hand.
sometimes i feel like i have been strung up like a scare crow. it feels as if i have rods jammed through me and i can feel them, and the burn.
generally on a decent day i have a pain level of 6 or 7 ( on a scale of 1-10) which i have learned to cope with. but on certain days, or like the past 3 weeks, i have been more like a 8 or 9. i have not learned to cope with that.
i fight tears often.
i REFUSE to be a debbie downer, as my sister would say, because i don't want my negative energy bleeding onto other people, especially the ones i love.
i have found that whether i am at a 6 or a 9 level of pain i can still do the same activities with no harmful affect BUT, at a level 8 or 9, my will fades. i get depressed and desperate at times. i want out of pain NOW!!!!
that is where i am today...